How to Have Fun,
by Dustin Bramble.
Pull up and plop down im gonna lace you rookies with some game, if you wanna have fun here is a great way to do it.
First things first, you gotta get your ass out of jail. ‘Cause unless you like fighting naked in front of the cops, that ain’t no kind of place to be.
Once the sirens fade, find yourself a little shorty who’s down to let you hook up your ankle monitor to her phone, so the po-po don’t got no clue you’re out here living your best life at the cib.
Next, you need to get your hands on some spray paint. It’s fun to mess around with, and yeah, you can huff it if you’re trying to catch a real cheap, buzz. You can steal cans easy enough, but they’re also cheap to buy, so no excuses, player. Shit i haven’t paid for a can of spray paint since the summer of 2002.
After that, crack open some icy cold Four Loko with your pautnas on the porch. While you’re vibing, it’s time to do tattoos off the concrete. This is where the real art happens, brother.
Finally, go wash off in the pool and cool down, all while making sure you don’t get eaten alive by some fire ants.
if you follow my instructions right you’re gonna have a great Sunday night in with your friends.
Chainsaw Magazine 